So, this post is going to be about ADHD and the reality of it. Yes, I will be making fun of it but hey, if you don’t laugh, you will be miserable. So, if you are sensitive, don’t read any further.
Our oldest son, Vincent, has ADHD and I am pretty sure he is spreading his symptoms to our middle son, Nicholas. Yes, it’s like watching a forest fire spread and the only way to fight the flames is with your garden hose.
They are literally like little forest fires. Jumping from one thing to the other causing mayhem and chaos as they go.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my children dearly but dear, sweet Jesus, I can’t keep up with their shenanigans.
On Monday morning, we had a really hard core thunderstorm and both boys came into our bedroom. And I don’t care because they are scared and need some love and that’s fine. What wasn’t fine was that after my morning alarm went off, I told both boys that they could stay in my bed and quietly watch the thunderstorm.
So off I go, begrudgingly of course, because who wants to go to work during a monsoon, let alone ever? I went in the bathroom to pee, and I kid you not, Vincent came in as my butt was making contact with the toliet. Guess what he told me?
No guesses? Ok, that’s because he wanted to let me know… at 5:47am that he could see the moon sometimes behind the sun.
Really? I mean peeing in the early morning hours is the only me time I have and he is telling me about his ability to see both the sun and moon at the same time. No son, you are basically staring into the sun and burning your corneas.
So, I don’t want to hurt his feelings and I tell him how interesting that is and send him back to my room so I can finish getting ready.
When I finally emerge from the bathroom in all my glory, the boys are thankfully not in my bedroom but are discussing important life matters, loudly in Vincent’s room. Meanwhile, our five year old is still sleeping and I walk into Vincent’s room and tell the boys that they have to whisper.
Nicholas does a fine job but Vincent was born without a volume control. I can hear the kid through two doors and a hallway.
When I finally open up my bedroom door, my two boys are standing there proudly. Nicholas turns to me and says, ‘hey mommy, do you like our breasts? It was Vincent’s idea.’
Yup, I am so glad I asked them to sit on my bed, whisper and quietly watch the storm. Instead I learned that it is possible to stare at the sun and burn your eyes and that boys can have breasts.
Until next time,
Did you at least buy a bra?