As a parent you always try to help your children achieve their hopes and dreams.
The other day Vincent told me he wanted to be a vet, a doctor, a lawyer a construction worker and a kid when he grew up. Sounds great Vincent! You be all those things as long as I don’t pay for all of your schooling because I don’t want to be in debt forever. So yes son… achieve your dreams with your own money.
Nicholas wants to be a firefighter, a police officer and spiderman. Excellent. Sounds great. I am proud of you for wanting to save the world. I would even support you if you wanted to change your name to Peter Parker.
Emily told me her dreams this morning while she was going to the bathroom. I mean, don’t we all have our best thoughts while sitting on the porcelain throne?
Anyway, she is sitting there watching her pee come out and I am proud of her for her curiosity however, I don’t want to be there if she pees in her face. So as she is watching her pee and telling me how big she is getting, she then looks deep into my eyes and says “mommy, I think I am growing a penis!”
And that is when it happened. I had to tell my baby girl that her penis is never coming because she is a girl and she won’t grow a penis.
Yes. I had to squash her hopes and dreams about automatic growth of body parts.
Don’t get me wrong… she is like any other girl out there. I would love to have a penis just for the sheer fact that I could get in and out of the men’s room in a matter of seconds. Have you seen the woman’s bathroom line? We are in there for minutes and then we have to wash our hands with soap. Gasp!
So yes. I would like one too Emily. I would love to write my name in cursive in the snow, I would like to pee in the bushes, I would like to cross streams with my buddies but hey… I. Am. Never. Going. To. Grow. A. Penis.
So sorry. But mommy is here to tell you the truth and if that means destroying your hopes and dreams then I have to do it.
Sorry that you told me that you hate me but I feel like when you become a teenager, the ‘I hate you’s’ will hurt less because of all the practice we are having while you’re three. That’s why they say ‘practice makes perfect.’
Yes. In this household even going to the bathroom isn’t black and white. My kids make it black, white and crazy.
Until next time,