These are the top ten signs that you are kid-less for a whole twenty-four hours.
1) you don’t have kids for a whole 24 hours so you plan an entire weeks worth of activities in a day.
2) you realize that all that planning will never happen because you have to sleep, drive for five hours and go to an amazing wedding.
3) at this friends wedding you drink too much because you don’t have to adult.
4) I’m not an idiot. I became friends with the bartender and he gave me a full bottle of wine for the way home. I gave him a $2 tip because I’m classy like that.
5) your husband falls off the bed, hits the TV and falls into a table- do the math.
6) you are up wrote a blog at 2am because you know the earlier you go to bed the sooner you have to get up and be an adult.
7) I may or may not have shown my boobs to everyone because my dress just can’t cover the girls. My husband liked the view but the rest of the wedding people…uh… debatable.
8) there is nothing on TV but I have a channel on about cold murder cases. That’s great and probably really good for my anxiety. Who has duct tape and a plastic bag?
9) I ate a whole meal. BY MYSELF and it was hot!
10) At the wedding a nice woman came up to me and said:
‘aww, you’re pregnant!’ -lady
‘Aww, yeah I was. Three and a half years ago.’ -me
Normally I would have slapped the woman but the endless wine bar helped me not beat the woman or to start doing crunches in the middle of the dance floor.
Yeah being kid-less for 24 hours is amazing. Parents go crazy and it’s not just black and white crazy, it’s full blown madness.
Until next time,
A pregnant looking mom carrying her $2 bottle of wine