Can I Get You a Side of Manners?

I think I am getting old. Like, when did I become my parents age?

I look around at the youth of today and they expect everything right then and there without even a simple please and thank you… even my three gorgeous cherubs.

No one is polite anymore. When did we lose our compassion? When did we lose our sense of kindness? Our human decency?

Life is so immediate and so instant these days so I feel like it’s my responsibility to press the pause button and kick the youth in the ass. Let me give you some examples.

1) When Vincent and I enter his school, I say, ‘you’re in a building.’ My son, who is six, realizes he needs to take off his hood.

Yeah, it’s called manners. Why do we do that in a building? I have no freaking clue but I know my dad used to tell my brother that all the time. So I feel like it’s important. If he doesn’t do it, then I help him by wrestling that six year old to the ground and taking off his hood for him.

2)Vincent has been asking for things. I’m sorry, he hasn’t been asking, he has been ‘commanding’ us to do things.
‘Mommy, I command you to get me juice!’ -Vincent

…interesting. I command you to shut up… please. Notice how I used my manners?

3)I am OK with my students having their friends stop by every so often to talk with them for a ‘second.’ But I have one rule… when you come in my classroom, you need to say hello to me first. Acknowledge me before your friend.

I know you are asking yourself why? I will tell you. Because this classroom is my freaking house, that’s why.

Students come in and if they don’t say hi first then this is the conversation. Let me paint you a picture…

First, I awkwardly get close to this stranger, look them right in the eye and say

‘umm… do I know you?’ -me
‘Uh, no. I am just here to see so and…” -random kid
‘Oh. I see. So you walked in my house and didn’t say hello to the person that owns the house? Let me tell you something. I am at school more than I am at my actual house. So if you want to visit your friend you need to say hello to me first.’ -me
‘Uhh…’ -random kid
‘Uhh… now get out.’ -me
‘Uhh. Hi!’ -random kid
‘Uh… no. It’s too late. Come back tomorrow.’ -me
…awkward laughing… -random kid
‘Yo man, she’s serious. Get out.’ -random kids friend

4)Yesterday afternoon I had a study hall and I am working at my desk. A student walks straight in my room and this is our conversation:

‘I need colored pencils.’ -random kid
‘Uhh…?’ -me
‘I need colored pencils.’ -random kid
‘Uhh…?’ -me
‘I have a note that says I need colored pencils. I am from so and so’s class. See my note?’ -random kid
‘Uhh…?’ -me
‘You do have colored pencils right?’ -random kid
‘Yup.’ -me
‘Can I have them?’ -random kid
‘No.’
…meanwhile the study hall students look like they are watching a tennis match…

‘Well, why?’ -random kid
‘You forgot something.’ -me
‘Sorry?’ -random student
‘Uhh, no.’ -me
‘Can I have your colored pencils… please?’ -random student
‘Ding, ding, ding, ding! Yeah. They are over on the counter.’ -me

And yes, the class erupted into laughter and applause.

5) On the way home, Nicholas let me know something extremely important.

‘Hey mommy! I want to tell you that I have my penis out.’ -Nicholas
‘Ok, well, that’s not the really the right thing to do because it’s not polite.’ -me
‘Well, I like it and my penis is fun.’ -Nicholas
‘Be that as it may son, you do that at home. In your room. By yourself. You don’t want to show other people your penis because that’s not nice.’ -me
‘Ok… well, I liiiiiiike it and it’s out!’
‘Put your penis away.’ -me
‘Ok… fine…’ -Nicholas 

So in conclusion, all of these incidences were teachable moments to learn manners and compassion for the people’s feelings.

Use your manners, be kind and above all else, stop being an idiot.

Yours truly,

The sarcastic woman holding the colored pencils

#teacherproblems #mommyproblems #sarcasm #ithinkiamfunny #stopbeinganidiot #startbeingpolite

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BlackWhiteAndCrazy

I am a mother of three small children with a wonderful husband. Having children is not as simple as black and white. Having kids is black, white and crazy. I hope you enjoy my blog of my crazy escapades.

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