A Little at a Time

Isn’t it amazing how we watch the seasons every year? We watch the trees change their color- each leaf different from the next. Then we watch as the leaves die and fall off the trees and just when we can’t take the emptiness and the cold, new green buds start to appear. Summer is filled with large green leaves that protect us from the hot, scorching sun and then the cycle starts again.

I wish life was as simple as the life cycle of a tree. Yes, we are born, we live and then we die but we never get the same opportunities to start again every season… or do we?

Personally, I wish life was different. I wish I grew up different- I wish I was stronger, smarter and I wish I trusted differently.

I think looking back, I would like to be like the cycle of a tree. People sometimes don’t care about you and you can’t trust everyone and that is how I react. I bud, I blossom and then I start to get more fragile, I change and then I die. Trust is important and I just don’t have it in people.

I need to stop looking at my depression as something that will always be with me. I need to stop feeling that I am in the fragile cycle and then ultimately feeling like I want to die.

My husband and my kids are what keep me going. And as I’m writing this, Nicholas came over and told me he ‘wanted to cuddle with me because he loves me.’ And hearing that makes my life cycle bloom and blossom; and even for a little bit, I can shield myself from the scorching feeling of depression.

Just like the tree, we change and grow a little at a time. Life is just lived moment to moment. I just need a moment.

Until next time,

Weeping willow

And if you are having a crappy moment… talk to someone so you can start to blossom in the world around you. 🙂

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BlackWhiteAndCrazy

I am a mother of three small children with a wonderful husband. Having children is not as simple as black and white. Having kids is black, white and crazy. I hope you enjoy my blog of my crazy escapades.

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