Let me give you a glimpse of what being a high school teacher is like the day before the holidays…
Have you ever seen a turkey after its lost its head? Just running around like crazy with blood probbably shooting out?
Yeah, that’s what teachers are like before a holiday. There is a lot of shouts for joy and screaming about how many hours, not days… until we have school again.
Our heads explode with excitement as we figure how many projects and issues we can stop thinking about… here is a list for your enjoyment.
1)Component V… because Components I – IV isn’t enough.
2) Walkthroughs… I love when people walk though to catch a five minute glimpse of what I am teaching. It’s like a rush.
3) Essential Questions… all my questions are essential… it’s school.
4) DOK 4 (since that is impossible to obtain… it’s like a pipe dream)
5) Grading… you only have to grade if the kids hand stuff in… so…
6) Lesson planning. My lessons are in my head. I plan in the shower.
7) Learning Maps. What is this a treasure hunt?
8) DOK 4… yup still thinking about it.
9) Data… no. I don’t want to collect data. Ever.
10) Warm-ups… am I teaching jazzercise?
11) Exit tickets… you don’t need a ticket to get out of my classroom… just go.
12) Staying in your seat till the bell… why is this hard? Who wants to stand?
13) Cleaning up after yourself. Does it look like your mom works here? Clean your area. If you don’t then I just put the trash in your bin anyway. How do you like me now?
14)Curriculum… uh, I wrote mine. All of it. I like it and I fear change.
15)Letters of Recommendation. I had like fifteen. I just can’t do anymore. You are all wonderful and you all have my recommendation to go to college. Can I just write that?
16)Checklists… ugh. There are just too many and the 9 pt font hurts my eyes.
17)Schology. I don’t even remember my password and I don’t get it. I can barely say it.
18)Rewriting my exams. I should do that soon. Exams are coming, much like the apocalypse. And I have to add my DOK’s because it’s on my 9 pt font checklist.
19)HOT questions. All my questions are HOT. Mostly because I am hot and undoubtedly gorgeous.
20) Writing my agenda on the board and keeping it updated. My agenda will read like this… you will be working. It’s school. It will be like this for the entire semester… dated August – January.
So fellow teachers, put these items out of your head. And much like turkeys exploding blood out of their tiny necks, let your head explode with thoughts of turkey and mixed drinks.
Be thankful for your friends and family and for your students. My students make my job worthwhile… all the other stuff will fall into place… but in like 600 hours.
One HOT turkey