When Death is on Your Doorstep

I am sick- I feel like i look like a cartoon character that is so sick that it changed to that weird green color. I feel like death but did you ever notice that no one cares if you are sick unless you have a high fever or you are puking?

All I want is silence and blankets and to sit next to the fire until it melts off my face.

But alas, now that I have been a parent there is no time to be sick. I still have to parent and on days like today I have to pretend to care. Like caring about Emily’s imaginary horse that she so lovingly and loudly brought to Friendly’s. It only happened several times while the waitress came over to check on us. Emily was literally talking to the air while the waitress was coming over to ask us about ice cream.

Meanwhile, Nicholas is affectionately calling me ‘his cooch.’ (Read the blog ‘Nicknames’) Not just silently but loudly, in public as we are eating lunch. I think I am going to start calling him ‘my schlong.’ But I am going to affectionately call him this till he’s eighteen. High school is going to be fun… whenever he plays sports, I’m going to be like ‘that’s my schlong!’

Now, I am finally back from lunch with Nicholas and Emily. I am laying under the blankets, hoping for silence but it doesn’t come. So far Emily has given me fake juice, a pretend sponge bath on the couch and a flashlight. I am not sure what the light is for but whatever.

I am going to sign off because I am close to death. I love all you schlongs out there… thanks for reading.

Until next time,

Your green, sick cooch.


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I am a mother of three small children with a wonderful husband. Having children is not as simple as black and white. Having kids is black, white and crazy. I hope you enjoy my blog of my crazy escapades.

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