Pass the Duct Tape

Vincent got in the car, all huffy and puffy. Then he sits down and drops a bomb on me… “mom! I got a zero on one of my papers!”

So I was really surprised by this because he usually gets an ‘A’ on everything so I told him that we would work on it at home.

He’s screaming that it was too late and that he wasn’t doing it. And that’s when you don’t want a ‘Teachrent.’ …I just made up that word… it’s teacher/parent. I know you are all impressed by my ability to create new words.

So I went into Teachrent mode and I was all understanding and trying to figure out how I was going to help from the teacher stand point and how i was going to make him work and follow directions from a mom standpoint.

I found out that it was a reading assignment:

“Well, did you go back and use the story to get the answers?” -me
“Well no! It was on the sheet!” -Vincent
“I understand but if it was a story, you should have gone back for the answers like we always do at home.” -me
“Well, I guessed instead.” -Vincent

Now at this point there is eye rolling, exasperation, and anger boiling but it wasn’t from me- it was the seven year old in the back seat.

I kept telling him that we would redo the assignment together and he didn’t want anything to do with my suggestions.

So this is what I decided to do… I need to take this seven year old, going on fifteen and go ape shit on him. If he rolls his eyes at me like that one more time, his eyes will legit get stuck in the back of his brain. Meanwhile, his exasperated tone will give me reason to take stock in duct tape. And for his anger, well, he gets that from me. Cute right? But not when it’s used against me.

So if he is like this at seven what are the teenage years going to be like? It will be a lot of anger, eye rolling and drinking… because that is how I will cope with this tiny teenager. Only eight more years left…

I think when he turns thirteen, I’m going to buy a cake for those awkward teenage years and it’s going to read ‘congratulations! Your mom is going to go ape shit on you if you roll your eyes one more time.’

Until next time,

Does this duct tape come in any other colors or patterns?


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I am a mother of three small children with a wonderful husband. Having children is not as simple as black and white. Having kids is black, white and crazy. I hope you enjoy my blog of my crazy escapades.

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