Every night at bedtime, Nicholas and Emily want me to tell them a story. The first story has to be about them being in my belly and the second one has to be about them being a little boy or girl.
Well, we have been doing this for months and I started running out of individual stories so I started telling them the same exact story as I go room to room.
I can just see it now… twenty years down the road, we are sitting at Christmas dinner and they will play ‘remember the time I did…’ and then they will argue that I told them that story was about them. Luckily for me, I know the true meaning of the holiday is Jesus and spiked eggnog. So I will just sit back and watch them argue while I cheers to Jesus’ birth. Way to be born Jesus!
So last night was the same. I told Nicholas and Emily that when they were babies, they used to try to suck on Joe’s and my nose and then we would know they were hungry.
Of course, Emily laughed and I was able to leave the room. Nicholas, I wasn’t so lucky. He started asking questions and I’m a big advocate of telling them the truth.
Here is our conversation:
‘So mommy, I used to suck on your nose and then you would know I was hungry?’ -Nicholas
‘So… did I only eat from a bottle? Do all babies eat from a bottle?’ -Nicholas
‘Well, no. Some babies eat from their mom’s breast because when the moms have babies, they have milk in their breast.’ -me
‘Well, did I do that?’ -Nicholas
Then it became an awkward conversation…
‘Well, can I see the milk?’ -Nicholas
‘No, because it goes away when the baby grows up. -me
‘I wish I was still a baby.’ -Nicholas
‘No you don’t because then you couldn’t do big boy things.’ -me
Then it became worse… he literally pokes my boob and says…
‘So is that why your breast is so squishy because it had milk in it and now it doesn’t?’
So in conclusion, I need to discuss with Nicholas what is OK to say to women and what will promote women to grab pitch forks and torches and chase his ass down the street. I guess Sesame Street doesn’t discuss this…
Until next time,
Squishy boob signing off.