I can hear the wind blowing in the trees; the movement gently rustling the leaves.
The birds are singing their separate tune; fading in, fading out, fading too soon.
Today has been a long day for me but the birds still sing, the trees still sway, life still goes on without delay.
My world crumbles and my world falls apart, it’s funny how we didn’t see this from the start.
Time is still- I watch myself and it’s like a movie and I am the lead. I wish I could ground myself and fill my need.
This void inside me is much too great, it’s like a gaping hole awaiting it’s fate.
I feel alone in this world but I know I am not. I have been abandoned and tossed aside to rot.
Whether this abandonment is perceived or not; you left me and you can’t understand this thought.
I have been abandoned my whole life and you are no different. You said you would be there but you left anyway. Torn to pieces I tried to make you stay.
However, it’s no use. You think I am obsessed, delusional and sick. Is this some kind of trick?
But it’s not and our friendship is no more. I used to wait for you by the door.
But not anymore and not today. I am going to leave you this time and there will not be anything left to say.
Stare at your papers and you paperclips too. Go ahead and wonder what more there is to do.
You sit there and stare at me but I stare right back. I’m not afraid of you anymore; now, it’s self control that you lack.
You try to blame me but I’m not the one. You should look in the mirror and realize what you have done.
Take ownership and step up and realize that this just got messed up.
You told me to find someone new; I did and it’s the best thing you ever told me to do.
This woman is not great, she is exceptional. She is there for me day and night hoping to teach me right.
She has set up a wall that I shall not pass but this wall comes with a sheet of clear glass.
Glass that I can see through and know that she cares. Glass to protect both of our halves.
What you have broken, is strewn across the floor. It’s not your business, I am showing you the door.
This other person has gone through piece by piece. Collecting parts of me that I thought could not be replaced.
There is glue in one hand and love in her eyes. She cares about me and she has held me when I cried.
She knows me more then you ever did. She never judges me and I have never felt misled.
She has given me a safe place to sit and talk. She has taught me to live and showed me the walk.
I went through a dark land with you and I didn’t understand why. I don’t think you ever noticed me when I sat there and cried.
But you let go and I started to fall. This all had a purpose and I am glad I made that call.
My way of life changed in a few short months and you will never understand what I have gained.
I could go on forever but you will never understand. I have someone different holding my hand.
Through hell and back she will always stay. I trust her; I believe her- I don’t have to keep her at bay.
I can be myself, mess and all. She won’t leave me and she will be there every time I call.
Like the leaves rustling in the tree or the birds that sing for you and me; she will keep me until I am ready to be set free.
I have no fear. I have no regret. I can’t thank you enough for the lessons I will never forget.
And to this woman- thank you for being there day and night. Thank you for not leaving me and showing me the light. Thank you for being with me through good and bad. Thank you for seeing that I can do this. Thank you for believing in me when I don’t believe in myself. Thank you for coaching me, holding me and keeping me safe. Thank you for teaching me anew and knowing that I can do this and one day, I could be like you.
Until next time,