Happy Father’s day to all of the dad’s out there.
Today is a special day for all the dads out there. Today is the day where all the moms want you to spend the whole day with the kids.
Your itinerary for the day is:
1. You will get to sleep in but will be woken up by one of the children slapping your nuts. Goooood Morning!
2. Pooping with an audience.
3. Cuddling will consist of all the kids sitting on you at the same time. The requirement is to have at least one kid literally sitting on your head, like a hat.
4. For the full 24 hour period, you shall continuously hear the word ‘dad.’ At the end of the 24 hours, you will consider a name change and entering into the witness protection program.
5. You will be the milk and juice bitch today.
6. You will not go anywhere alone, as one of your children has attached a GPS to your ass.
7. You will wear black and white stripes today and you will referee the children.
8. Your ‘ride’ will be the mini-van.
9. TV will be a continuous loop of sports… just kidding.
10. And the whole day will be worth it because of all the hugs, kisses, I love yous and even the I hate yous.
Happy Father’s Day to all the dads out there. And even if you don’t have children of your own, remember that you are a mentor to many.
A special Happy Father’s Day to my husband, Joe. You are an amazing and loving dad to our three mofos and I wouldn’t want to do this with anyone else. Xo
Until next time,
Moms… take a much needed break today. 😉