What. The. Hell?

Ok, so this post is going to be a more serious one but with my usual sarcasm because that is how I handle tragedy and sadness. If you don’t like that, then don’t read any further. I am going to be a blunt, honest bitch so buckle up.

I am saddened by all of the news; much like any normal person would be. People have been taking to social media as a way to grieve, a way to protest and a way to show the injustice in all and every situation in the past few days and even weeks.

We have the LGBQT community being targeted because of who they love. We have black men being killed even though the evidence shows no resistance and we have police officers being picked off while trying to protect their community.

Think for a moment about being shot. Like really think about your last moments. I can’t imagine being pulled over for a broken tail light and then being shot at when I tried to get my registration out of my glove compartment and all this in front of my child.

WTH people. What the hell? Am I saying that we, as the public, know the whole situation and the content of how things unfolded? No. I don’t pretend to know. And I am not going to stand on this soap box and pretend to know; because more than likely, it will break.

The man selling CD’s outside of a store… popped in the chest at point blank range. I mean is this kind of violence necessary? I saw the video online. The officer couldn’t have been closer to his chest. Jesus.

And then I turn on the news today and there are five officers killed while trying to keep the peace at a peaceful protest. Have we literally lost our minds?

I am a straight, basic, white woman and I don’t pretend to know what it is like to be African American or a person that is gay. I don’t pretend to know because no amount of pretending or wondering will ever come close to the reality and the struggle of these groups. However, I do have fear.

I am a high school teacher and everyday I walk into school, I fear it may be my last. I will be honest and tell you that each and every day, I hug my kids and my husband a little tighter because I may not be coming home. You might be reading this and thinking that ‘it will never happen in her school…’  I am sure the teachers and students of Columbine and Sandy Hook could have said the same things. So wake the hell up people.

There is one common denominator in all of this and that is our lack of gun control in this great country. Is it really that great if we can debate online, in person, in the senate, in congress but nothing actually changes? Where is the movement? Where is the change? Where is the protection? The government can only do so much but we as a people need to do more. And it’s so simple- stop killing each other. Stop killing each other at the mall, the movies, your school, at the traffic stop, from road rage, at the airport, at peaceful protests. Stop killing each other in the streets. Stop killing each other. What the hell America?

So many people are against the changes to ‘the right to bear arms.’ I am sure you won’t feel that way if it was your black or gay or white or Muslim son or daughter. You like to hunt? Good for you- I think that is fantastic and if you are reading this, I would like some deer jerky. But the forefathers of this lovely nation did not see people being killed in the streets or schools by semi-automatic weapons.

And maybe you disagree? That’s fine. I sometimes disagree with myself too. In all honesty, I don’t know what the answer is. Guns aren’t the problem- the people pulling the trigger are; whether they are white, black, tan, Muslim, mentally unstable, a police officer, man, woman, or a punk kid thinking that they are grown. You can be grown when you pay your own goddamn bills.

Think. Really think before you pull that trigger. I think this whole damn country needs therapy. Really. Go to therapy. We are all fucked up.

I just don’t get it people. Like we are seriously killing ourselves. Isis doesn’t even need to come over here because we are doing a good job fucking things up ourselves. Don’t be afraid of terrorism; be afraid of each other.

God, we live in a world of hate and pissed-offness. Always trying to even the score. Always trying to take things into our own hands. When did we start pinning ourselves against our neighbor? When did we develop so much hate for one another because of the color of our skin or who you love or what religion you are? When did we get like this?

Here is a little story for you. I am being honest and I promise I have a point…

The other day, my little, four year old girl wanted me to play horsey with her. The kid was petting me, feeding me pretend carrots and water, riding me to the market and brushing my hair. She would hug me and kiss me goodnight before gently taking me to the stable. In that moment, I was a freaking horse. That moment was special because when I looked into her eyes, I could see how much she believed what we were playing was real and true.

Do you remember what it was like to be a child? To love unconditionally? To throw yourself into a beautiful moment without judgement? It’s time to be four again.

Until next time,

When are the few going to realize that they do not get to conquer the many?

We will survive.






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I am a mother of three small children with a wonderful husband. Having children is not as simple as black and white. Having kids is black, white and crazy. I hope you enjoy my blog of my crazy escapades.

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