I have more questions:
1) How many lines of coke did Trump do before jumping onto the political platform tonight?
2) Way to be civil and shake hands. Your showing everyone good sportsmanship. Or debatemenship. Is that a word?
3) People should take stock in Kleenex because Trump could help people make a fortune.
4) Why is Trump a whiny bitch?
5) How many more times can Trump say ‘disaster?’ Give the man a thesaurus.
6) Why is Trump walking around the stage? Is he trying to get his steps in?
7) Martha is the only commentator that can get the man to shut up but every time she does, Trump cries. Shut the fuck up… it’s a presidential debate, not the playground.
8) Please stop saying ‘Moooooslims.’
9) If we are talking about Girl Scouts, are we talking about the cookies too? I will take three boxes of Tagalongs.
10) Trump says he has 25 million followers on Twitter. Congratulations. I have people that follow my blog… can I be President now?
11) Every black person is poor and lives in the inner city? Is this a straight up statistic for all black people?
12) Ok Trump, is ‘etc.’ a technical presidential term?
13) Whoa… a positive compliment from each candidate? This is outrageous and Elsa is making a snowman in hell.
14) Locker room talk? So that makes it ok? When I throw out insults and grope my husband, I am going to call it ‘kitchen talk’ because I like to eat.
15) Does anyone know how to read a goddamn clock… your two minutes are up.
16) Trump just publicly said he ‘knew nothing about Russia.’ Cool. Glad you know politics… I feel so safe.
17) This debate is brought to you by the word, ‘tremendous.’ Use it in a sentence today.
18) Why is Trump so angry? He is squeezing the life out of his chair.
19) Did he just elude to the fact that he respects women?
20) Let me tell you something folks, this election is going to be a tremendous disaster if you don’t get out there and vote.
Women of the United States, don’t vote for someone who uses the word pussy to describe your vagina… I would prefer and accept the following: vagine, who-ha, taco, lady garden, ‘down there,’ and va-jay-jay.
If one person mentions deleted emails, I will have to punch you… I am sure they were just chain emails that Clinton had to send to 10 friends or she would die. However, she is a rebel and said, ‘No death, not today.’
To my followers in foreign countries, I deeply apologize for anything and everything that was said about you through this election, but mostly, how annoying it is when Trump says Mooooooooslims.
Until next time,
Keep your lady garden trim in case your significant other is into kitchen talk while explaining to you about Isis, Putin, Moooooslims, poor black people because they have nothing to lose, rich goddamn white people, tax evaders, coke snorters and women-loving twitter followers in two minutes or less.
You gotta keep that vagine trim but keep your legs hairy so your significant other is always left guessing.