Having big boobs is a problem; hell, having boobs is sometimes a problem but when does it become inconvenient?
I will tell you when…
1) it’s inconvenient to spend $120 on two bras. I said two.
2) it’s inconvenient when you look down only to find that half of one boob is coming out of the top of your bra… this is called bubble boob. Sometimes I try to push it back in with my fingers before anyone will notice but it just looks like my fingers are on a trampoline.
3) it’s inconvenient when you lay on your back and they start choking you around your neck and you start to see the light and all of a sudden, you are talking to Jesus.
4) it’s inconvenient when your kids play them like they are a percussion section in an orchestra. Batons at the ready maestro…
5) it’s inconvenient when you are walking around your classroom and you smack some kid in the back of the head, even if they did deserve it.
6) it’s inconvenient when you want to look sexy for your significant other but the bra colors only come in grandma colors which are black, white, tan and something called nude.
7) it’s inconvenient to have your bra dig into to your rib cage only to find when you take it off you have that big, red gauging line around your torso. I look like I have been shanked except they used a dull blade.
8) it’s inconvenient when you just need a rest and you are at a nearby table or counter. People say you shouldn’t put your elbows on the table because it’s impolite but they never said anything about resting your boobs on the table.
9) it’s inconvenient when people are talking to you and you are just looking right passed them because all you are thinking about it is taking off that bra, burning it and making stores. Mmm… chocolate.
10) it’s inconvenient when you take off your bra and your children are at just the right height that at any moment they could get a nipple right to their eye. Then they’re going to need an eye patch. Great, now I have pirate children.
Until next time,
It’s all fun and games until you meet Jesus and you can only look at him with one eye.