My observations on snoring:
1) You’re nose is usually so silent. Why the hell is it so damn loud right now?
2) The kids wake me up all the time and now I can add your nose to the list.
3) I want to be more sympathetic because I am pretty sure you have a cold but I’m cranky… because I’m tired and you are so damn loud.
4) Your nose is literally shaking the house.
5) How come your ears break when you are snoring? How can you not hear that? I hear a ‘ding’ or a ‘clink’ downstairs, wake up and think we are getting robbed. You are so much louder than those noises.
6) I want to roll you over because you are giving me a migraine but then you are going to ask why I’m up and on my phone… like I want this at 6am.
7) Your Snoring inspired me to write a blog… that’s why I am up. You’re my muse.
8) I want to put a feather in front of your face and see if it will fly up and down like the cartoons.
9) You sound like a train. I kind of want to scream, ‘all aboard,’ and then jump on top of you and hand you my boarding pass.
10) When you get silent, I need to check to see if you are still breathing or if there is just a lull in your snoring like a dull conversation at at staff holiday party with people you don’t really like.
Until next time,
I love you but roll over