So I tried buying some dresses online and the website had a measurement chart. According to the chart, my boobs are 2x, my waist is a 1x and my hips are a 3x.
Excuse me… what am I supposed to buy? I went with a 2x because my boobs are so large and that is the first thing to go into a dress. However, what is a curvy woman to do? Some things have crossed my mind:
1) Find someone to custom make my moo-moos.
2) Burn the sizing chart.
3) Shred the measuring tape because I think it’s lying.
4) Break the scale that mocks how much I weigh.
5) Hire some hot trainer so I can trim my curves.
6) Eat ice cream.
7) Drink. Sometimes it’s the only solution.
8) Use the extra fabric from the dress as a tent for a camp outing.
9) Go skydiving and use my new dresses as parachutes while wearing my new shoes.
10) Exercise. Bahaha… I’m just kidding.
Being curvy is a hard job. Yeah, your dead sexy but sizing charts mock your ability to buy a dress.
Until next time,
My 1x, 2x, 3x self will keep you posted.