Playing Monopoly as a child was the longest game ever and it was never one I really understood anyway.
Now being a parent, I totally get how hellish this game really is; it should be banned from the shelves.
Here are the top ten reasons why Monopoly Jr. is frustrating:
1. We lost the directions. So the whole time, I was listening to the wise eight year old to tell me what to do.
2. We are playing the Finding Nemo version… so no top hat. Wtf?
3. I had to keep borrowing money from the bank because I kept running low on cash- I ran out of money on the first go around.
4. Vincent had to roll the dice by throwing it high in the air. I was dodging dice like I was dodging bullets.
5. Nicholas was the commentator and added the ooohs and ahhhs to the whole damn game.
6. In the middle of the game, Vincent became distracted and I had to keep reminding him to play.
7. The Monopoly Jr. game only has $1 bills. I felt like we should have gone to the strip club instead.
8. I was competitive with an eight year old.
9. At one point I demanded that Nicholas give me a dollar. A real dollar… I think because his commentating sucked.
10. The redemption of playing this game was that I won. I beat the eight year old.
Until next time,
I’m taking my winnings to a strip club. Yes, I’m going to make it rain.