So my boys are really into Pokémon and I don’t know why. Vincent all of a sudden lives and breathes the shows and the cards and I am slowly dying inside. Here are the top ten reasons why I hate Pokémon…
- Math… the whole game is revolved around math and how much power and how much health you have. Why can’t it just say, ‘hey, you are sick?’ Whenever they bring up the number of health that a certain Pokémon has, I start to twitch.
- Every time we go out, Vincent pretends he is the main character, Ash. Yes, he pretends he is Ash and he tries to catch them all. Gotta catch all the Pokémon, even if it means knocking over an old woman in the store.
- I can’t pronounce the names. I understand it’s Anime but once and a while, I would like a Pokémon to be called Bob.
- On the tv shows, Pickachu can only say his own name. No wonder Pickachu can’t evolve or fight; it’s because he is still saying his own name… how is he supposed to fight?
- My kids are having Pokémon wars with pillows and pretending they are powers. There has literally been blood and a lost tooth because of this game. But hey, gotta catch them all even if that means busting each other up.
- There is an actual card game and every time Vincent wants to battle, he wants to battle his little brother and Nicholas just cries that he has the least amount of health on his Pokémon. I feel bad for Nicholas and then, my husband, chooses to battle Nicholas who is already crying. Seriously?
- I feel like in the cartoon, all they do is scream at each other. Their eyes are as big as their mouths and it’s disproportionate and it’s frightening.
- God forbid, I tell them there is an app for that.
- We have literally binge watched 58 episodes of Pokémon and I can’t take it. Pichachu isn’t cute, he is disturbing and lives in a ball… conveniently called a Pokeball.
- Did I mention all the things I hate? Math, blood and teeth. It’s Pokémon for God’s sake. I don’t even understand the concept but it has caused blood shed amongst brothers.
Until next time,
Excuse me while I gotta catch ’em all.