I am Just Going to be Honest

This blog is going to be about being honest. I am going to honestly say everything that I hate and then maybe if one person reads it, they can relate and see that they aren’t alone. I am going to just be honest and sarcastic because I don’t know what else to be.

  1. I am fat. If I related myself to a piece of candy, I wouldn’t be a king sized… I would be shareable because if you were dying in a plane crash, my body could feed the troops.
  2. I hate my teeth. They are yellow but only because they are dead inside from a fall… they are dead much like my soul.
  3. I hate not feeling comfortable in my own skin. I literally want to scratch it off because my depression feels so bad.
  4. I hate that I don’t love my job anymore. When the man takes over, they suck all the fun out of your job. I used to love going to work, now I can’t wait to leave.
  5. I hate that I have Borderline Personality Disorder. It’s nice to have a reason for why I do certain things but for the love of God, it is hard to be inside of my brain constantly hating myself each minute of every day.
  6. I hate when people tell you to just choose happiness. I would choose it… can I pick it up at the goddamn market? Are you selling happiness out of the back of your trunk asshole?
  7. I hate the feeling that I will never get better. People tell you that it will get better but I find that I have been waiting for years to get better but I am still waiting and I am extremely impatient. Like, hurry the fuck up already.
  8. I hate that feeling of wanting to hurt myself because no one understands what that feels like; what that emptiness and hopelessness feels like.
  9. I hate how my pinky toe barely has a nail on it. Why should I spend my time cutting it?
  10. I hate loving someone and them not loving you back the way you want them to; like I am giving you my heart and you are turning it into Swiss cheese.
  11. I hate lying to people and telling them that I am great. I am not great. I am not even ok but the only time I can be honest without push-back is if I write it down in this very public blog.
  12. I don’t like how long it takes my finger nails to grow.
  13. I really hate counting calories… I am not even good at math.
  14. I really hate when kids at school can’t meet deadlines
  15. I hate when people won’t let me honestly talk.
  16. I hate being suicidal when I know that I have a family that loves me.
  17. I hate parachute pants… you all look like ass clowns.
  18. I hate skinny jeans… are they cutting off your circulation because your lips are turning blue.
  19. I hate that I am at Starbucks and the Frappuccino’s are so many calories. Can’t you lie? I am fat and I am in a place that I just don’t fucking care about calories; I just want whipped cream.
  20. I hate that I hate myself as much as I do.

Until next time,

Maybe one day, I won’t hate so much.

Advertisements

Published by

BlackWhiteAndCrazy

I am a mother of three small children with a wonderful husband. Having children is not as simple as black and white. Having kids is black, white and crazy. I hope you enjoy my blog of my crazy escapades.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s