Loving You is Everything.

You are my sun, you are my moon, you are all the stars that blanket the heavens.

The day begins with you and the day ends with you and the time in between seems to stand still.

Seeing you is like seeing the sunrise over the mountains for the first time and saying goodnight to you is like catching a sunset and then watching darkness approach.

Butterflies take flight when I see you; even twenty plus years later.

You’re love is like the smell of rain after a summer storm. No matter how many times I’ve seen the rain it’s still new, sweet and warm. Playing in the puddles is where I like to be.

You’re laugh makes me feel young when I feel so old. We still play silly games. We moved on from freeze tag and hopscotch but not by much.

Living this life with you is like winning the lottery. Every day is like seeing my last number come up on the red Powerball.

My world wouldn’t be the same without you in it. When I die, I pray that death comes for me a second before you because I don’t want to live a moment without you.

Until next time,

You are more than everything. ❤️

https://youtu.be/fjDojEOiMcE?si=_QGFjgfmfyj4fZPm

Next Time, Shut the Door.

I gave my son the sex talk last summer and I don’t think I did it right because he walked in on my husband and I having sex and this was that conversation.

‘Uh, what are you doing?’ -son

‘We are wrestling’ -me

‘Oh ok! Who’s winning?’ -son

‘I am’ -my husband

Here are his top five questions he had and I would have hoped that I explained sex well enough but clearly didn’t because he was so oblivious that night.

1) So do you have to be naked?

2) Can’t you have sex through the little hole in your underwear?

3) You have three kids so you only had sex three times, right?

4) My penis goes into what?

5) That’s how babies are made?

And then his questions just progressively became panic…

6) I am never having kids!

7) I’m never going to look at daddy and you the same way ever again.

8) You CAN’T tell my brother and sister about this. Ever.

9) I’m literally scarred for life.

10) Oh my God, my eyes! I’m never going to unsee this.

Thank God the kid was so unaware because he would have had a complete mental breakdown if he realized we were having sex. And having sex for fun. I mean, it was only our fourth time having sex so…

Until next time,

I only covered the basics. I am saving oral sex for a rainy day.

Dating When You are Married in Your Late Thirties

Dating after you have kids is always challenging. There is juggling life and then trying to fit in a date here and there to remember why you fell in love. There is the whole hurdle of finding a babysitter that is good to your kids and then shelling out the extra cash just for a hot date that is going to end around 11 pm if you are lucky.

So how do you know if you are dating in your late thirties?

Let me take you there with my experience on this past Friday night at 8:30pm:

1) When we went out on Friday night we could barely keep our eyes open. When I checked the time, it was nearly 9 pm.

2) While at dinner my husband, Joe, kept looking at the ceiling. Finally after the third go around, he looks at me and says, ‘do you see that light? It just keeps flickering.’ Yeah, this conversation is enough to turn anyone on.

3) I asked Joe at 9:30pm if he wanted to go to a bar that all these college people were lined up for but he didn’t want to go. His excuse was that it was too cold to stand in line and wait.

4) As we are passing the college students in downtown, this girl with a sequence mini pair of shorts walked passed us. I think I saw her vag with every step she was taking and before I knew it, I was saying those dreaded words… ‘does your mother know you are wearing that?’

5) After Joe didn’t want to go to the bar to hang out, we decided to hit up the local Acme grocery store for some much needed bbq sauce and tomato sauce. Yes, we made it rain in aisle five picking up our favorite sauces.

6) As we are leaving, I passed by the ice cream section and any girl knows when you have a bad day, you just want some Ben and Jerry’s. Instead of supporting my choices, Joe complained about the prices of ice cream and I left empty handed.

7) I knew it was a true date when Joe politely opened up my door… in the middle of the Acme parking lot. Oh baby, oh baby.

8) Nothing says the date is over like complaining about dry contacts. Because really, that is the secret code for, ‘get me home and into bed.’

9) When I finally got home, I realized my most favorite part of the night was taking off my bra.

10) You know you are old when you have done the following in one night, went out to eat, shopped for sauces, got take out milkshakes as a compromise and were still home by 11pm.