So I have a fucking bully.
She is pretty much a bitch and is always talking about me. She has said the following:
1) I am a horrible mom/wife/teacher.
2) I am fat and ugly.
3) I am worthless and stupid.
4) I have done nothing productive with my life.
5) I should go kill myself because I don’t matter to anyone.
You name it and she has said it. And what hurts the most is that this is someone that I thought I knew. Someone I thought I could depend on but in all honesty, she is a fucking bitch and I don’t know how to get rid of her.
She comes around often and she is constantly saying these mean and horrible things to me and the worst part is that I believe it.
If this was one of my friends telling me this same story, I would tell them to just get rid of this person and cut them out of their life. But hey, easier said than done, right?
We all have that one person that is impossible to get rid of. I always have good intentions that I will talk to her, sit her down and be honest with how much she is fucking hurting me but I never do.
I guess I am stuck and don’t know how to get out. I even tried to talk myself through a mock conversation in the mirror. But see, she was there, looking straight at me.
I’m the bully and I hate myself with so much anger and force that it hurts to be in my own skin.
If only someone would understand.
The pain is so awful that hurting myself feels like the only way out. It is the only way I could be away from her forever and she could never hurt me again.
Until next time,