A Little White Lie

I haven’t felt like this is quite sometime. I have actually been having some really good weeks but I guess with every high comes a low.

I am noticing that I am starting to avoid people- something I haven’t done in a long time. People are asking me to go out or meet up and I am just constantly making excuses because I just mentally can’t. I want to totally shut out the world and stay in my own little depressed, suicidal bubble.

Here are the top ten excuses to tell people when you are absolutely depressed that are 100% a lie.

1) I am washing my hair. This is a complete lie because when I am like this I barely want to get clean. I would rather be smelly than have to get wet. Too much effort.

2) I am just really tired. Complete lie… when I’m depressed I’m always tired.

3) I am cooking dinner right now. Complete lie because 99% of the time I am making my family leftovers with whatever I can find in the fridge to turn into a meal that isn’t currently moldy.

4) My kids are fighting. Well, this one is actually true because they’re kids and most kids fight about stupid bullshit.

5) I am already in my pajamas. Lies… because I never got out of my jammies.

6) I am currently cleaning my house and can’t get out. Lmao… please, I’m not really cleaning. There is a mountain of dirty dishes and a mountain of laundry. The only thing I am doing is mountain climbing.

7) I am spending quality time with my kids. Pleeease… my kids have been on tablet most of the day because the thought of having them get off and need me is just too much to think about.

8) I am spending time with my significant other. Haha… yeah maybe… but it is mostly me being a lump watching Netflix. But hey, quality time is quality time in a pandemic where the only thing to do is watch Netflix.

9) I am actually on my way out and can’t hang out with you. Lies… I’m not going anywhere but my couch.

10) I am not feeling well and can’t meet up. Well, this is true. I’m not feeling well but you can’t tell because it is something you can’t see. And just because you can’t see my pain doesn’t mean it is not there.

So in conclusion when you have that depressed or suicidal or both kind of friend, family member, coworker, just know that we aren’t avoiding you because we don’t like you. We are avoiding you because we don’t have it in us to be happy or fun. We are just barely getting by and we don’t want to be ‘that person.’ We just need a little time to recharge and it is going to take us longer than the average person. Just please be patient with us.

Until next time,

Let’s hang out soon.

According to Webster’s Dictionary…

I picked up my kids from school and on the radio was ‘I’ll Be Missing You,’ by then, Puff Daddy. My oldest, Vincent, is reading the screen and is like… ‘Puff Daddy?’

‘Yeah I think his name is P- Diddy now but I’m not sure.’ -me

‘ What does Diddy even mean? Let me look it up on your phone.’ -Vincent

‘Ok.’ -me

‘Diddy- A female breast or nipple.’ -Vincent

‘Wait, what?’ -me

And then it starts. All three of my kids are cracking up and they are like hysterical at this point.

Then starts more conversation on boobs.

‘I wonder how you spell ‘boobs’… -Nicholas

‘Oh… it is B-O-B.’ -Emily

‘Emily, that is Bob. I think it is ‘B-O-O-B.’ -Nicholas

‘Boob- a stupid person, a blunder a mistake… a female breast! Ahhahaha!’ -Vincent

‘I like boobs… and nipples. I like man boobs too.’ -Nicholas

Oh sweet baby Jesus… help me.

There you have it people. My family has taken the time to educate the public on the meaning of the word Diddy and Boob. Your job is to use those words in a sentence today.

Until next time,

You’re a Diddy.