Follow the Best Man

So if you don’t know, I have my own photography business and I shot a wedding this past weekend.

After the ceremony, the bride and groom requested that I follow them to their house and take a few pictures at their home. Not a big deal.

The best man was driving the bride and groom and there was a caravan of cars following in order to get back to the house. Without knowing, I cut in front of the grooms seventy year old parents- whoops.

So we are all leaving the church and the best man takes off and I am behind the wedding party and then the grooms parents and then God knows who was behind them. Well, the best man makes a left turn into the housing development and I follow with the seventy year olds hot on my tail. The best man is whipping around turns going like forty miles per hour and I am keeping up.

Finally, the best man pulls into the driveway and I pull in right behind him, inches from his bumper. I look at my phone to check my text messages and I hear, ‘excuse me… can I help you with something?’

Yup, I followed the wrong car and led the old people to the wrong house. After screaming shit a few times, I was able to problem solve my way .6 miles back to the correct location with the older people in tow.

Talk about an adrenaline rush for me and that random dude.

Until next time,

Just ask for the address and GPS that shit.

Can You Use it in a Sentence?

So like any parent, my kids have homework, which basically means that I have homework.

Once a week, Emily, who is in first grade, has a blind sort. Basically I call out words that she is supposed to know and she writes the words down in the column that it corresponds with- like similar beginning letters or ending letters. And yes, spelling counts for this little tyke.

Well, in order to entertain myself, I call out the word and then put it in a sentence. It drives her nuts and she gets mad so I tend to do it more often. And now, Nicholas, my second grader does it also.

Today, Emily was particularly mad at me but I couldn’t help calling out the word with a sentence. And since I was struggling with second grade word problems and Vincent’s fourth grade math is way out of my league, I decided that making up sentences was right up my ally today.

So here I am, making up sentences and I call out, ‘plug.’ And the only sentence I could think of also involved the word butt. I don’t really want to have the conversation of what a butt plug is with a first grader and frankly I think I would have to ask Google which could get awkward real quick.

Until next time,

After much stalling, ‘my drain has a plug in it.’