So my kids are home for the summer and the only thing they like to do is be on technology and when they aren’t on technology they are legit on top of me. They act like I am their entertainment captain on the lido deck.
When I say they are on top of me, I am being 100% literal. This isn’t a figuratively type situation. (I will add a picture for reference.) LOL
Either way, the other day my daughter, Emily (11 yo), started complaining that she was bored. So I came up with twenty suggestions of things she could do. Instead of taking my suggestions, she just kept asking Alexa; ‘Alexa, what are cool things I can do when I’m bored?’ Hello? Did I not just rattle off twenty suggestions? I guess my ideas aren’t cool enough.
Finally, Emily settled on learning how to do a headstand. I used to do them when I was a kid and could stand on my head till all my blood was drained to my brain. So I am trying to teach my kid how to do this:
‘OK, go to the wall. Kick your feet up onto the wall and try to balance. Eventually you will learn how to balance on your head without needing the wall.’ It is literally that simple people.
So she gets to the wall, which was a whole ordeal because she didn’t know what wall to choose. Just pick a freaking wall! Anyway, she was too scared to kick her legs up. Then she was too scared to put her legs down. So there I am doing arm lifts with my daughter’s legs. The whole point of this was for her to do something without needing me. But alas.
When she finally gave up, I told her, ‘you legit would never have been able to survive the 80’s.’ And she came back, in a high pitched voice, mocking me, with, ‘Oh yeah, I didn’t have Google back then.’
Google? We didn’t even have the internet. I remember getting on the internet for the first time and my typing teacher rattling off www, in this weird annunciation for the letter W.
So I wanted to make a list about how these kids would never have survived life back then…
1) We were required to have an imagination.
2) We had to play outside and run the streets until the street lights came on.
3) No matter how hot it was, we had to stay outside.
4) Our parents didn’t play with us, let alone entertain us.
5) We didn’t have technology.
6) If we wanted to know something, we would look it up in an encyclopedia and say the alphabet on repeat until we found what we were looking for.
7) Our TV had like three channels.
8) We passed the time making friendship bracelets out of string and we were good at it.
9) We had patience. There was none of this instant gratification. Hell, we had to wait for a week to get back pictures we took with a disposable camera.
10) We didn’t have cell phones. We had to call people with a phone that was connected to the wall. Or figure out creative ways to get our friends with beepers to call us back.
11) Sometimes my mom made me call some random number to find out what time it was.
12) The way we learned life lessons was watching a special after school. ‘The more you know…’ 🎶
13) We didn’t take the bus to school. We walked that 1.5 miles in the cold, rain and snow. And yes, one way was up hill and I had to cross a five point intersection on my own.
14) We drank Tang and we drank water from the hose and we did ok. That’s why we aren’t as sick as you. We built up an immune system.
15) Our parents let us go anywhere on our bikes and most of the time had no idea where we were. I rode over to the next town to get McDonald’s. It was far and on dangerous roads but it ended with a Big Mac and fries.
16) We played spin the bottle and people ended up with mono but I’m sure they still had a good time.
17) We put styrofoam Cup of Noodles in the microwave and lived to tell the tale. Maybe that was just my family…
18) We didn’t carry around water bottles in case we got thirsty. We stored up that hose water like we were fucking camels.
19) We bought cigarettes for our parents.
20) We learned how to do things like headstands without YouTube and without our parents help. I used to do headstands, wait till all the blood rushed to my head and then get up and spin in circles until I fell over. And THAT was my entertainment.
So here most of us are, living life with the next generation. A generation that can’t entertain themselves, lost their imagination and asks Alexa for simple things. How do we get these kids back to a childhood that we had?
I’ll tell you how. We can’t. And we never will.
We our the last great generation of imaginative thinkers and neighborhood exploring. We are patient. We don’t take other people’s bullshit. We are Gen X.
Until next time,
Play something, anything without me.
BlackWhiteAndCrazy 