Buzz, Buzz… Who’s This?

*Adult content… don’t read further… this is your warning.*

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So the other night I couldn’t sleep. We have all been in that situation; tossing and turning and staring at all four walls of the bedroom.

I tried being mindful and thinking of serene places but I just kept making lists in my head and then having anxiety. And then it hit me… not literally… but, I thought, ‘hey, I could just use my vibrator.’

I mean what could go wrong, right? So I quietly get it out and turn it on. And Joe, out of a dead sleep mind you, sits straight up and starts trying to find his phone. Yes, he tried to answer my vibrator.

Until next time,

Hello? Who’s this? 

Oh, it’s just my vagina.

Pikachu, I Choose You!

So Vincent will be making his First Reconciliation and First Holy Communion this year. He has to do some intense reading and some activities in his workbook.

Best Parts About This:

1. Seeing the curiosity on Vincent’s face when he learns about Jesus.
2. Watching him draw a picture of God’s Grace in his workbook.
3. Finding out that Jesus indeed had a Poke’ball.

All those times I wasn’t sure if God knew what Poke’mon was but it is evident in this picture that Jesus not only gave His life but also gave us Pikachu.

Until next time,

I believe in both Jesus and the power of the Holy Poke’ball.

Who?

‘Did you hear about Mike Pence?’ -Joe

‘Hold on… Mike Pence. Mike Pence… why do I know that name?’ -me

‘Ally, come on. Mike Pence?’ -Joe

‘Wait. Is he a football player?’ -me

‘Uh, no.’ -Joe

‘Baseball?’ -me

‘Ally, no. Mike Pence!’ -Joe

‘I give up. Who is he?’ -me

‘Jesus. The vice president!’ -Joe

‘Oooooh.’ -me

Yeah, apparently I want to deny the current presidency… along with the rest of the world. 

Until next time,

Clearly, I need to read more tweets.

Did You Win?

I went to an Art Ed conference today. At the end of the day, they had a raffle. A fellow teacher who was helping out during the conference came up to me while I was looking at the raffle board and asked me if I won.

‘So, did you win?’ -Lorraine

‘Nope. Bummer.’ -me

Then she looks at my ticket…

‘Oh honey. You didn’t win because you have to give us the other half.’ -Lorraine

…Yup. Mind blown. Today I learned different art techniques and how to correctly enter a raffle…

Until next time,

The winning number is…! Oh, it doesn’t matter because I am holding both parts of the ticket.