Saying Goodbye

This past weekend we said goodbye to my husband’s aunt, Zizi Amelia.

Zizi means Aunt in Italian but this woman was more like a grandmother to my husband, Joe. The reason for this is because Amelia was twenty years older than Joe’s mom, who is her sister.

Zizi Amelia was the rock and matriarch of the whole family. Life isn’t going to be the same without her. It isn’t a secret that this woman was the glue that binds the family together and without her, there is no more glue so we are going to have to work harder to stay together. And that is because I love that family and selfishly I want to see them again for years to come.

It is amazing how one person can hold a family together. Yes, they will always be family but there will always be something missing at every family function.

And that leads me to this blog. I told my husband that I would be there for him through the funeral. I knew how bad he was hurting and I wanted to be a rock for him. Instead, I ended up being a hot mess myself. Like Joe, I saw Zizi Amelia like a grandmother.

Zizi was an amazing woman and I found out so much more about her when I was at the funeral. I knew her as a strong woman, a woman who was a wonderful wife, mom, grandmother, sister, friend and aunt. She was also an amazing cook and you would never go hungry at her house. And if you didn’t eat, she would say, ‘what? You don’t like my cooking?’ LOL, so you always ate even if you weren’t hungry.

But during the service this past weekend, I learned that Amelia was active in her church and community and undoubtedly in her family. She was a grandmother and a mother to so many people. She had a wonderful marriage to her late husband and they were married for over fifty years. She would volunteer to make the meatballs at every church function. She sang in the church choir. Was part of the Women’s Guild. She was known as the sample lady at the local supermarkets. This woman worked till she was eighty-five years old.

I tell you all this because did she know how great she was? Did we tell her enough? Did she know what an impact she was on so many people? Hell, the procession to the cemetery must have been two miles long. I have never seen so many cars. The church was packed with so many loving friends and family but did she know how much she was loved?

I am sure in some regards she absolutely knew she was loved but how often do we wait till death to tell someone how important they are to us in life? How many eulogies do we hear that make us think, ‘wow, that person was amazing.’? Why do we wait till death when the person is gone to tell them all the wonderful things that they do for us and how appreciative we are for them? We have to do better in life because who knows what happens in death.

To my family: I don’t tell you enough but I love you.

To my in-laws: Thank you for treating me like I am your own blood and for loving me the way I am. I love you all.

To my friends: I don’t know where I would be without you. Probably drinking in a ditch somewhere. Lol. You pull me out from the dark depths of my mind and I am grateful for that and love you so much.

Until next time,

Don’t be afraid to tell someone in life what you would say about them in death.

Church Escapades: the Lost Files.

So it has been a while since I have talked about my three young children, ages nine, seven and five, at church. Church is still a hassle because I spend more time disciplining than listening. So here is today’s adventure.

1) The kids cried from the parking lot to the church that they didn’t want to go to mass. Most kids say they don’t want to go because it’s boring. My kids cried because it was too cold outside and this was the justification of why they didn’t want to go. Yeah, makes total sense.

2) In the middle of mass, Vincent pulled a rock out of his jacket. It wasn’t a rock, it was a boulder. And not just any boulder, but one that had his name on it. Written in old world viking language. Wtf?

3) Vincent made Nicholas laugh so hard that the kid snorted. And he snorted out a giant pile of snot. And he was sitting on my lap and I didn’t have tissues. So naturally, I used my hands and then Joe, my husband, looked at me and held out his hand. Not knowing what had happened with Nicholas, I just gently passed off a handful of snot and then we both rubbed it in like lotion. I guess this explains why no one shook our hand at the Peace Be With You part of mass.

4) Nicholas and Vincent finally settled down during the consecration of the Eucharist. When the priest sang, ‘the Mystery of Faith,’ both boys sang with him but changed it to their version which is ‘Mystery of Face.’

5) Then the priest raises Jesus to the heavens and starts to chant, except his chant is in stereo because both boys are singing with him… ‘in the unity of the Holy Spirit, one God forever and ever.’ They did so well, I am considering asking the priest if he needs backup singers on the alter every Sunday.

6) I guess Nicholas got bored with chanting and he leans over to the other pew and is playing with what I can only assume is a fuzzy. No, it wasn’t. It was a nail. A human nail. And no, it wasn’t ours.

7) I told him to put it down because that was beyond disgusting and instead he named it. ‘Mommy, this nail is pum-pum.’ So gross but I tried to keep my cool.

8) Then he reached over and found another nail and looked up and me and said, ‘this is pum-pum. And this one is pum-pum junior.’ Well, that was when I busted out laughing.

9) So clearly he isn’t listening as I am telling him that these human nails could be cased with disease. I look over and he has one nail on each hand and he is whispering to himself. ‘Hello pum-pum. Hello pum-pum junior. I now baptize you. Yaaaay.’ Seriously, what is happening.

10) As we are leaving, I finally get a chance to wipe off Nicholas and he starts to cry about me killing pum-pum. So I broke of my nail and gave it to him and he said, ‘this isn’t pum-pum. It doesn’t look anything like him.’

Until next time,

Throw your nails in the trash like a decent human or train your kids about human waste.

Christmas Mass: Getting Back to Our Roots.

This is a list of shenanigans that happened at mass:

1) The offering basket went around but not before Nicholas tried to take out a fist full of money.

2) Emily poked my back and asked me what the bubbles were on my back and I said ‘back fat.’ Then she screamed out, ‘I love your back fat!’

3) Emily looked me straight in my eyes and said, ‘Look at me. I’m Jesus.’

4) During every song Vincent danced but swaying to the song was not his dance. He danced like he was at a rave… all he needed was glow sticks.

5) The priest had a cheery message about a man on drugs who wanted to kill himself but found Jesus instead. Of course this was the first and only sermon Vincent had ever listened to and then alot of questions followed.

6) Emily just kept yelling out about how boring church was and how much she wanted to go home… while spinning in circles.

7) It was fun when my youngest two fought over my lap. With my muffin top, there is less room to sit. There is a whole bench but why sit on the bench when you can partially sit on your mom?

8) I enjoyed when the congregation said the ‘Our Father,’ and Emily tapped me and said, ‘They are saying our prayer!’

9) Emily recognized, ‘Silent Night’ and started singing all angelic and then suddenly turned to me and started singing a heavy metal version.

10) Once church was finally over, Emily turned to Vincent and said, ‘feel my finger. Touch it. Touch my finger… it’s wet.’ So precious. 

Until next time,

Dance like you are raving and pray like you made up the ‘Our Father.’